Update: Self-Love Journey
I’ve been single for approximately 60 days now. This has been this longest two months I’ve EVER had to live. Of course you guys know I started my self-love journey. A lot of people think I started my journey immediately after my break up which isn’t true at all. My self-love journey started on March 1st when my world changed. I initiated the journey to teach and learn how to love myself correctly so when the time comes we’re I have to share my love with another I can genuinely project it in all the right ways. Fortunately, by starting this journey before my breakup, although it was hard and hurtful, my journey and my Jesus picked me right up and showed me how to properly heal. Everytime I get the urge to open my mouth or even think I’m healed and this hurt is absolutely over reality calmly sits my ass right down and smacks those accumulative years right in my face. I’m struggling with coming to grips that I can’t just heal immediately. I invested a lot in my relationship. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t real then maybe it would be a little easier to get over.
Last night I had to kneel down and converse with God. I felt myself losing this connection of motivation and drive to deliver my purpose. I noticed myself filling my schedule up with events to make myself busy just to keep my mind off things but I had to realize that there’s no escape. Every night that I have to go home alone, I’m by myself left with only my thoughts. Thats what breaks me. My mind starts to go crazy. I had to come to an agreement that I’m still hurt, I’m not weak, I’m still healing. I’m now in a stage were this has absolutely nothing to do with the individual I parted ways with. This stage of healing involves only myself. I now know that I need to slow down, take time out of my day to self-reflect, go over goals and make decisions that will only get me one step closer to fulfilling those goals. I’m good.