Have you ever sat down and thought about all of the things you could’ve changed in a previous relationship? The things you should’ve said or the way you would’ve handled certain situations.
This relationship literally started from a mustard seed. Something that was so literal, so small, so distinct, evolving into something so confusing yet full of passion.
Looking back on situations, I regret things I did, choices I made. A person should never have regrets, but with this one, I don’t know why but I do. I guess because some things can’t be undone once there done. Sometimes we do things because it seems like the right thing to do or just because it feels good to do so! Sometimes those actions may cause issues, issues beyond what you could expect. I’ve learned that you should never make long term decisions based off temporary feelings. If it turns out to be a good decision, lucky you! But if it turns out bad, you’ll be like me and regret it everyday.
Papi Chulo, I nickname everyone but I honestly don’t remember how this one came about, although it fits like a glove. This guy is full of lust, passion, experience, intelligence, and talent. He’s dreamy… A real catch but like I stated earlier, this relationship started out as something that was suppose to be only based on one thing. Sex! The sexual chemistry between us was amazing, this is the only guy whose been able to make me squirt! Lol (although he probably doesn’t know that) but any who, things started to change between us, neither one of us ever verbally told each other how we felt about each other, we just knew. I mean we went from occasional sex at “our spot” to me going out picking out an Easter dress for his precious baby girl. I mean this man probably told me things that he wouldn’t tell his closest best friend. The only issue was we both had our own separate lives and relationships that we were dealing with. Selfish the two of us, I know. This is exactly we’re we fucked up at, but then again things weren’t suppose to move in the direction they were moving in. We weren’t prepared for this. Feelings started to get hurt, mean, harsh words were being tossed around. Things jus got too messy. I think it was because things were never said! Things still aren’t said, I still get “you know what’s up” from him when I don’t know whats up but it would be amazing if I did! If I did that would avoid so much but maybe that’s what he wants. Not too much but just enough…
Til this day I can honestly say….. I love him, he owns apart of my heart, he has the ability to make me tear up(which I promise myself I will never let happen again), he is my Papi Chulo!
I don’t know if Papi lays in my future but he sure is still in my present and has made a hell of an impression on my past….